Thinking about issues

Okay, this is scary to even put on here and admit, but I need to! This came up in an online conversation today and I'm basically just going to cut and paste it here.

I never thought about it before - I TOTALLY do this... catch myself serving small servings to everyone else so that *I* don't go without. And then I feel like this horrible, awful mother/wife. Of course, I always make WAY more than enough, and there is almost always at least one serving left over - but, still, I feel awful. OR, alternately, I've caught myself eating, say, 2 pancakes as I make breakfast, and then get everyone fed and then eat 4 pancakes (I make small ones, LOL) and then trick myself into thinking I only at 4, instead of 6, and then think my DH is "hogging food" when he eats 5!!!

In fact, thinking about it, I do that to Josh a LOT - accuse him of eating too much. He always takes a huge portion - bigger than anyone else. But, he never goes back for seconds (or rarely) and I always do. Sometimes thirds.

Well, thanks for the therapy session, girls.

Mindful Eating

We're dealing with our share of dietary issues in our house right now.

First and foremost - money is TIGHT. I'm not even sure what we'll be able to spend in any given week. It makes it VERY hard to plan meals week-to-week.

Sage, as most of my followers know, is having some digestive issues. We totally took gluten out of the house and are hoping for improvement. But, then, what if it's dairy? That will be *so* hard on him to give up.

Ziva, nearly 7 months, is just becoming interested in food. It's an effort to navigate through what I am and am not willing to give to her. *Everyone* starts with cereal (I know, not everyone) but with the grain issues Sage seems to be having, I've been avoiding all grains for her.

One kid doesn't like pasta.

One kid doesn't like rice... or meat.

My husband doesn't like anything green and leafy, or onions, garlic, tomatoes, avacadoes, green peppers... the list goes on and on.

So - in my "self inventory" this week, I've come to realize that trying to bend to everyone else's needs and desires has led ME to eat horribly.

I do not take full advantage of meal times to put healthy things into myself and my family (because I get so frustrated trying to be accomodating) and end up just eating "whatever". This really hit home when we took out the gluten. WOW, it really cut out a lot of my convenience "whatever" foods.

I also have become the Human Garbage Disposal. Hannah picks out the chunks of chicken - I eat them. Sage ignores the "macky cheese" on his plate - I eat it. Bobby is a very social eater, so if he has a snack, I snack with him - hungry or not! And it's been much worse since money has been so tight because I feel so BAD about throwing anything away.

It's really horrible. And I'm really shocked at my discovery!

So, my short-term goal, as simple as it is, is to not eat according to my family's whims. Just because my husband doesn't like salad doesn't mean the rest of us (who DO enjoy it) can't have a big old bowl of it for dinner. Just because Hannah's meal of choice is "anything with cheese" doesn't mean that I have to eat that! Just because children X, Y, and Z leave food on their plate, doesn't mean *I* have to eat it!

The Beginning

So, I've tried paper and pencil, but it's not working.

I'll make this my food/health/exercise/ranting journal.

The picture is me at my ideal weight - about 14 years ago! Wow.

Here goes!